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Love Story

13 Oct

August 14th, 2014, 6 pm


“I love you.”

“I said I love you and I thought you should know. You cold, emotionless, bastard.”
“Err thank you? I’m unsu-“

“Unsure how to respond; I know. I know you’ve been emotionally cold and distant for years now. You ignore your own feelings and trample over everyone else’s. You go through life as a set of routines, you never plan for love or hate, and your goals only involve improvement.”

“That’s a very, err accurate description of me.”

“Accurate? I have you down to a science. You only asked me out because we have similar likes, similar background, and we both hate pumpkin flavor or anything to do with pumpkins.”

“Pumpkin flavor anything is just wrong.”

“But you forgot something. Love, is something more than just a process to attach parents to children and others for growth and protection. For me and you it’s that strong feeling of connection. “

“So how do we go about this? I confess my love for you now? I can’t say that I’m in love with you. I also can’t say I asked you out for a date today.”

“I know, but for the moment I’m content to have things just like this. We’re on some level of emotional and intellectual understanding, though the emotional understanding is only one sided.”

“That’s all fine and well, but I don’t think I’m ready to date.”

“Oh yes you are; I’m claiming you as mine and there’s nothing you can say about it. You’re not gonna go and do something about it because it would make you more active in your life then need be.”

“Okay then, treat me nicely I’m a bit soft.”

“Soft? Oh no baby; this crash course is gonna rock ya…”


August 14th, 2034, 6 pm


I don’t recall when, but I remember my dad always humming “Rock you like a Hurricane” by The Scorpions. He said it reminded him of Mom. The fact that he managed to get a date today was no coincidence. 20 years to the date, he was always romantic and loved to remember dates, which both annoyed and thrilled my mother. This is my lovable dorky, herbalist of a father. Sitting with me at the table in the diner, the sunlight really showed his age.

“…Rock ya.”


“That’s one of the things I remember about your mother. Always talking about rocks, but she hated that geology class in college.”

“Dad, it’s a saying an- oh you dork stop making bad jokes.”

He threw his hands up in the air as a sign of surrender.

“Bad habit, I’m sorry. I still miss her you know.”

“I miss her too, but it’s unbelievable how she lived the past few years as a secret agent. First we lost contact with her plane over the Atlantic when she was going to Poland. Second she was in a foreign country civil war. Third she was pronounced dead. Fourth it turns out she faked her death. Fifth she finished her mission and returned home.”

“It was wonderful having her here again. Shame I had to end up being kidnapped.”

“Well, you have always been a light and small kinda guy Dad.”

“…This is true, but I didn’t expect that I’d be held at gun point like a punk. And then it was some big name psycho female rights group. I am not ashmed to say that I was speaking in a high pitched voice most of the time.”

“Do you remember the look on their faces when Mom broke in through the ceiling with her team and music playing?”

“Oh that, I will never forget. And not just because I was scared out of my mind. Though, they kinda ruined the “were gonna kill all men” mood when they told me my wife was alive.”

“It’s kinda amazing how she walked out with you in her arms and a hidden gunshot wound.”

“…My manliness might have taken a hit that day; but I sure didn’t care. I wish she had told me she was dying though…”

“Wanna read the letter that explains everything again? The text is getting kinda faded since you read it for days; I had to frame it or something.”

“No, no it’s alright; I’ve memorized it now. But you know she did change my life. I would probably married to some guy or alone right now. Now I have two lovely daughters, a date with a hot teacher.”


“And some sadness, pain or whatever from my resting wife. Though, my memories and family help.”

“I have to say you, put up with me and her death better than I would have suspecte-”

I grabbed his shaking hand. This was mostly to shut him up and to give that tiny gesture that I understood. Only to have it interrupted by a loud noise. Outside we could hear the sound of a horn. The blond in the crimson car waved to us and we waved back from the kitchen.

“Say, do you hear that?”

“Oh, that would be Sarah now. I’m still kinda nervous abo-“

“‘Bout if dating so soon after her death is really enough? It’s been a year; she didn’t want you to grieve forever. You know that and you read the letter. Besides, I need you out the house so my sister and I can have that double date with our boyfriends. You understand.”

“…I’ll stop complaining now. I loathe how you picked up her habit of telling me my thoughts. Next thing I know one of you girls will be deciding what plants to keep around the hous-“

“Because we know which plant you like for March. Big hint; we do. You buy the same plants year after year.”

“Well I coul-“

“No, no you wouldn’t change it up. Now go, your date has been waiting for a while and you don’t need the big speech about the birds and the bees.”

“…Why aren’t you a comedian now?”

“Because I get to check out boys all day while giving them sarcastic comments about how silly they are for taking risks with their bodies.”

A parting hug for my short father was the least I could do. The vote of confidence he didn’t need. Though, the sad puppy dog look he had for days was replaced with excitement as soon as he saw her. The grin only grew bigger as he got into the crimson Honda. The tiny wave he gave from 30 feet away to the 2 story house was just as precocious as the day I went to the dorms.



Part 1 Orange

14 Apr

“So this is Orange huh? Pretty big, for a creepy eight leg spider. I still say it was a bad move to buy it.”

Tom noted Orange was not actually an orange spider but a Pink Toe Tarantula and while it might have seemed small in the tank it was huge being held by Moss.

“Calm down Tom, what are you gonna do, force me to take it back? No way man, I’ve always wanted a spider; the bigger the better as they say. It’s harmless; at best Orange would have to take a few months to eat you. Even then the chances of that happening are low like… you getting a better girlfriend.”

Now Moss was putting the spider back into her clear cage that resembled a tiny jungle before returning to the sofa near the TV and jungle. Once inside Orange walked into a shadowed area out of view. Maybe Orange was stalking one of the crickets that, for the moment, lived in terror of being eaten alive.

“Always gotta start a fight with me Moss? Anyway, you know I can’t leave her. I love her.” “And I keep telling you lust is not love. Let’s state some facts; she’s cheated on you multiple times, smacks you around, hates you, and claims she loves you. Face it Tom, she’s a poisonous spider. Take a look at Orange there.”

Orange was creeping up on a cricket that decided to stop hopping for a moment and take a drink. As the cricket finished its drink and turned around Orange laid a few legs on it and then plunged her mandibles into its back.

“If this keeps up, she’s gonna suck the life out of you Tom. I wonder what I’m going to say to mom at your funeral.”

“Strong words coming from the man that fights with everyone.”

“I’m a little rough. Sue me. Oh wait you did that, Tom. Love ya buddy.”

At the next commercial they raised their glasses and toasted the friendship. The show that was coming on was now about how spiders were found in the fossil record.

“I swear this sofa of mine is just as twisted as you.”

“Love ya too Moss. Well I already know I’m going to die and -” “I’ll stop you there; I know what you’re going to say. So let’s start a new subject. What do you think about Stacy? You know the girl I just started dating.”

“Oh her? Wonderful, you managed to find the female version of me. I don’t know why you don’t just date me; it’d be a lot easier you know Moss.”

“Now hold on one minute there, I couldn’t have found-”

Orange decided to break up the conversation by smashing another cricket into the glass. And then, as if she was aware she had disturbed the conversation, Orange took her kill into the shade.

“Listen Tom, I meant to say before that, I do love you but not in the way that you suggest. Mein Gott man, I know we have this bromance, frenemy, best friends for life, favorite rival relationship; but what we’re not is lovers. I know you’ve slept with guys before in the past but I don’t swing that way. Though I do thank you for the offer, I’ve been thinking I’m getting a little old and attractive lately.”

“Okay then smart guy answer me this; What about the time we slept in the same bed?”

“It was the only bed in the hotel room!”

“What about the time I woke up to you holding me?”

“You fell off your bike after going off that ramp and I was checking for injuries.”

“But your hand was in my pants an-“

“You were fucking bleeding down there!”

“You make it sound like I want in that way Moss. I thought about it, maybe more than I should have. But I hate you more than I like you. Actually I think I hate you more than I did when I first meet you, just had to steal my rucksack then. Remember sitting with the Principal that day?”

“Of course I remember, you beat the hell out of me and had to be called off. I was sitting there with a black eye. ‘but nobody told me that Moss was a violent and quiet kid!’ and then you said ‘punks jump up to get beat down’”.

They laughed at this, and then chinked their glasses again. The show that was coming on now was about giant robots fighting giant mushrooms for supremacy.

“The brick affair? How the hell does that name even make sense? I think the only person more stupid than the creators would be the people who actually like watching it. Right Moss?”

“Hey now, I like the show. The main character just had his best friend killed in the last mission and he wept rust and oil and rust; tears man. If that’s not heartfelt then I don’t know what is.”

“I’m sorry but I don’t know how a giant mushroom could kill a giant robot. So go ahead, tell me how he was killed. Was he deathly sick around mushrooms? Did they drop a bigger mushroom on him? Did they-“

“Gee man, you just gotta be an ass and insult me don’t ya Tommy boy?”

“It’s not that hard when you have the intelligence of a mushroom and I’ll tell you another thing-“

Orange in the mean time had taken cornered a few crickets and was slowly walking towards them forcing them to jump into the pool of water below. The loud noise that caught the attention of humans had been the crickets attempting to charge Orange. Orange on the other hand would not take this kindly, and return the attack with equal violence. Orange hit the crickets hard enough to send two crickets into the glass and send the third into the water below. Mid victory pose, she noticed the humans watching her so she decided to get off of her back legs and slowly walk down to the water for the drowned cricket. The humans were noticeable shocked at this despite the television showing spores and parts everywhere on the make shift battle field.